I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Candid Conversation.

The Austrian Oak is rightfully celebrated as an iconic tough guy. However, at the height of his cinematic dominance in the late 20th century, he also starred in several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.

The Film and The Famous Scene

In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger plays a hardened detective who goes undercover as a schoolteacher to catch a killer. For much of the story, the investigation plot serves as a loose framework for Schwarzenegger to film humorous moments with his young class. Without a doubt the standout features a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere announces and declares the stoic star, “Boys have a penis, females have a vagina.” The Terminator responds dryly, “Thanks for the tip.”

That iconic child was played by child star Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a notable part on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the child stars and the character of the child who returns in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects listed on his IMDb. He also is a regular on popular culture events. Recently recalled his memories from the set of Kindergarten Cop over three decades on.

Memories from the Set

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I can't remember being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like mental photographs.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Often it was an open call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there briefly, do whatever little line they wanted and that's all. My parents would feed me the lines and then, as soon as I could read, that was some of the first material I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was extremely gentle. He was fun. He was pleasant, which I suppose makes sense. It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a good work environment. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a major movie star because my family informed me, but I had not actually watched his movies. I knew the air around him — he was a big deal — but he wasn't scary to me. He was just fun and I was eager to interact with him when he had time. He was occupied, of course, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd show his strength and we'd be holding on. He was incredibly giving. He gifted all the students in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was like an iPhone. That was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also have a authentic coach's whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being fun?

You know, it's interesting, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a huge film, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the direction of Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, the production design, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the original Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was quite skilled. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to pass certain levels on games because I knew how, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Infamous Moment

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember the context? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it made adults laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given special permission in this case because it was funny.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it came about, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. Some character lines were written into the script, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they refined it on set and, I suppose the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, let me sleep on it" and took a short while. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.